Kick-ass Crimes of Catwoman

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Writing about standalone Catwoman stories last month, it occurred to me that Selina Kyle has committed quite a diverse range of robberies throughout the decades. From no-holds-barred heists to madcap capers that seem straight out of Blake Edwards’ The Pink Panther, here are 5 awesome issues and one-shots displaying her criminal versatility:

‘Final Report’ (Catwoman (v3) #11)

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Since stealing feline-shaped jewels has arguably become Catwoman’s most recognizable trademark, you’d think a story about her trying to get the Bast Emerald (shaped like the eponymous cat-headed Egyptian goddess) couldn’t be all that exciting, no matter how many over-the-top high-tech deathtraps Brad Rader was asked to draw. Nevertheless, writer Steven Grant manages to spice things up with more twists than a David Mamet screenplay and a cast that also includes a dastardly millionaire and a bunch of federal agents.

And Catwoman’s final line, by the way, has to rank among her coolest moments!

Selina’s Big Score

Catwoman - Selina's Big Score

Anyone who has read Darwyn Cooke’s noirish Parker series can tell the dude is a huge fan of Richard Stark’s books. But years before Cooke ventured into adapting those novels into comics, he channeled his passion into what is not only the best Catwoman story you’ll ever read, but also a splendid heist story in its own right.

In this punch-in-the-gut of a crime thriller, Selina puts together a crew to somehow rob a high-speed train full of mob money. The gang includes, among others, a version of Chow Yun-Fat in The Killer and a Parker-like, tough-as-nails career criminal called Stark, who kind of looks like Lee Marvin (star of the spellbinding Parker film adaptation Point Blank). Alternating between exhilarating action and moody underworld dealings, the comic tops it all off with a legitimately powerful ending.

’The Lady Rogues!’ (Batman #45)

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If you like your comics more on the loony side, this Golden Age story by Bill Woolfolk and Charles Paris is bound to delight. In what has got to be one of her most outlandish crime sprees, Catwoman tries to sabotage a film production based on a book about infamous female women of history and fiction, just because she’s pissed that she wasn’t included!

At one point, Selina disguises herself as Snow White and attacks a studio with the help of seven dwarfs, leading to a seriously awkward fight with the Dynamic Duo. In his defense, Batman seems to realize this, thus uttering the priceless line: ‘Robin, you get the dwarfs… I’ll go after the Catwoman!’

‘The Crooked House’ (Catwoman (v2) #25)

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When one of the world’s richest men dies, he leaves his fortune to a series of eccentric projects, including a thoroughly booby-trapped house in Gotham City, which may or may not be hiding a treasure. Catwoman breaks in, facing one preposterous challenge after the next, and she’s not alone… the comic also features appearances by Robin and the Psyba-Rats (an amusing ragtag team of super-thieves about whom no one except Chuck Dixon ever gave a damn).

‘The Crooked House’ is a really fun romp – and the issue also includes a cool backup written by Doug Moench. That said, I confess that the main reason I chose it was because this is the best single-issue story to come out of the ’90s Catwoman run by Dixon and Jim Balent. However, if you’re willing track down slightly longer arcs, then make sure you also check out their two-parter ‘More Edge, More Heart/Box Office Poison’ (Catwoman (v2) #20-21) and the three-parter ‘Larceny Loves Company/Thieves/The Great Plane Robbery’ (Catwoman (v2) #28-30).

‘The Cat and the Clown!’ (The Joker #9)

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Last but not least, it’s Catwoman against the Joker, as both rogues decide to kidnap a famous comedian and his feline co-star. Predictably, the result is pure screwball mayhem, with deaths and puns galore!

 

NEXT: The Joker runs for governor.

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